Yesterday I told you that I had a post for you today that changed my life. I want you to know that I'm not just saying that. If you hang on and keep reading I'm hopeful that it will change the way you're thinking about your second half too.
I need to qualify by saying, I'm not your typical fitness business owner. I like being fit, I like being and eating healthy (most of the time), but I am not obsessed with it. I no longer wish to look a certain way. I wish to FEEL a certain way. I wish to spend as little time in the doctors office as I go through life as possible but I no longer wish to spend hours a day training to impress the world or myself. That took a long time to come around to and even longer to say out loud. Because if I'm being honest I do feel judged. I know that I reflect my business. Well, fine. If you want to live a sane and healthy life I'm your girl. If you want a rock-solid bod and a desire to compete or to push your body past healthy then I'm not. Looking "healthy" and being healthy do not always come together.
I want to share with you something that rocked my world one morning and pushed me off the fence. Like, in a single moment I told myself - I will no longer spend my days having this unhealthy relationship with my body; a body that is healthy, it's capable, and it's alive.
One morning I was sitting at my desk and cleaning up my desktop. I have a photo of my family on there but you'd never have known it from the hundreds of files I needed to sort into folders. Not knowing what some of the files were I had to open them up and look at each one.
If you send me an email that hits me in some way let me warn you, I may screen-shot that thing and keep it. I usually keep things that I want to use later as a testimonial but I guess for some reason this email had hit me when it was sent and I saved it. I don't even remember saving it.
The email was sent to me over a year previous to when I opened the file to see what it was:
"I had bread this weekend 😔 and sweet tea 😔 and a coke 😔 and dessert 😳😬. I just had to admit it. I felt guilty not letting you know. I am reset and man your hubby kicked my butt this morning. It's like he knew and wanted me to pay. 😳☺️. I do really well through the week and seem to take a mini vacation on the weekends. My problem is not preplanning and packing a cooler before we leave.
It's hard to admit this setback. I realize my discipline with food is severely lacking."
I opened the file and started reading without looking to see who had sent it. My heart ached as I read this email.
I hate (and I use that word sparingly) when we do this to ourselves; guilt, shame, feeling we "lack." My heart hurts because she was feeling powerless. My heart hurt because she viewed the the workout after like a punishment. My heart hurts because we think the thing we lack is discipline when I'm telling you DISCIPLINE IS NOT THE ANSWER TO THIS PROBLEM. Then I read who had sent this email to me and my heart hurt most of all because between this beautiful woman (in her early 40's I believe) sending me this email and me now reading it cancer had taken her life.
And I promise you this is NOT a post about coke and cancer or anything like that...this is not about the mechanics of nutrition.
This is about me asking US - "If we have a limited amount of time left - AND WE DO - is this sort of battle with our body the way we want to spend it? Isn't this relationship with food and our body one worth working on, worth getting over, and moving on so we can LIVE LIFE while we can? Isn't leaning into our Imperfections worth embracing?
We are entering a new decade. What is it that we could leave in this decade and not allow to move forward with us? How can we celebrate this beautiful life in our beautiful bodies and embrace their differences?
I don't know about you but spending hours a day, week, month, lifetime in battle with my body is not how I want to spend my life. I do NOT want to look back and think how I spent so much time, and mental struggle, trying to perfect my imperfections and never really lived. And don't our imperfections make us US? Don't they make us human? Dosen't having imperfections just mean we are still alive and get a chance that not everyone gets?
So on this topic of our "second halves," What needs to change for you live this portion of life in a healthy relationship with your body? What if you were to say, "I am no longer going to do anything for my body because I feel I HAVE to, I'll do it out of love because I GET to?" What would that look like to you? What is it that we could leave in this decade and not allow to move forward with us? Comment below!
If you really do struggle with this I know that my Gifts of Imperfection Study Group that starts on Monday (and is totally FREE) will help you to begin this journey. Please join us. Sign up on the welcome page of my website.
Jen Mulford is an entrepreneur, speaker, author and champion for personal freedom.