Have you ever been in a place where you want to make a change or take a leap of faith, but the little voice in your head keeps whispering, "But what if you fail?"
I know this is a valid fear for so many. A few weeks ago I made this video in response to an email I got from someone who wants to start improving her health but her fear of failure (or failing again) is holding her back.
We get stuck in the mental cycle of what if this time doesn’t work? What if I fail? What if I spend months losing this weight just to once again gain it back?
It’s amazing how much time we’ll spend on this one thought-train, constantly moving in the same direction without the ability to jump the tracks to a new thought.
If this is you, let me offer you a couple suggestions.
First, instead on staying fixed on, "What if I do _____ and fail?" Spend some time working through, "What if I never try?"
They only thing that sucks worse than trying and failing is the regret of never trying.
Spend a few minutes thinking about, or better yet, journaling about it. What happens if you get to 70 or 80 years old and you’ve never taken the leap?
What if I don’t ever make the time for my health? What will I feel like?
What if I never try that business that I want to start? What will I regret if I never see what my potential is?
What if I never travel to that amazing destination I dream about?
What if I never do what it takes to leave this job I hate?
I have failed so many times in the years of being a business owner. I've had to apologize to everyone around me at some point. I've forgotten things that I shouldn't have forgotten. I've forgotten people I shouldn't have forgotten. I've had to be bailed out more than on 100 occasions. I've had days I had no idea how I'd get through and the only thing that kept me going was that the damn clock kept ticking.
But I am seeing how all of that is refining me. I'm starting to see that it's making a person I am much more proud to be.
I did not, and will not, do it perfectly. In fact we can all bet I have more failures headed my way. And I'll admit that still scares me a little...ok, a lot.
But what scares me more? What moves me forward? Allowing my fear of regret to grow larger than my fear of failure.
What if I let the fear win and I never fulfill my purpos
That terrifies me! That propels me out of my comfort zone and into action even if it's scary action, even if it's action I don't feel 100% prepared for.
Tomorrow will not always be an option.
Tomorrow will not always be an option.
At some point the opportunity you have today will pass. I don’t think we hear that enough. You have an amazing opportunity in TODAY that tomorrow may or may not afford you. I think that is what age does to you, it grows your awareness of the frailty and risk of waiting until tomorrow.
Second, I would suggest that you do the deep work. Work on the inside. Get a coach, put yourself in an environment that will support you. Deepen your commitment to changing YOU. In fact, YOU is all you really can change.
If you fear failure in one area because you have a track record of failure in that area, it’s time to do something different. Get in a more accountable situation, get a tribe, get a coach, read books, start new habits, whatever it takes.
And last, be honest with yourself.
Are you really fearing failure or is it more like, “I want to start but can’t because I fear failing” sounds much more noble than…
I don’t want to.
I don’t want to make the time.
It’s just not a priority to me.
I love hanging out with other people who are achieving what they want to achieve out of life. Why? Because they have learned the hard lessons and hit the wall. You'll know when you've hit the wall, it sounds like this:
I am tired of hearing my own BS.
I cannot, for one more minute, listen to my own damn excuses.
I am exhausted…from me.
If that is where you are but you don't know where to go next. Call me. Let's have coffee. Let's see what you can do to move forward in fear. Waiting for the fear to go away is not necessary. Finding your power to move forward throughit, and using it to move you, is all you need. I can help with that.
Committed to your success,
Really ready to make some change? Get in my Action Circle Mastermind.I've added a 6 month option because you asked. We start soon. So don't wait.
Jen Mulford is an entrepreneur, speaker, author and champion for personal freedom.