What Most Made Me (A Poem about ADD)

Here's a little throwback that I wrote over a decade ago. If you love someone with ADD/ADHD then maybe this will help you understand a bit. If you are someone with an overactive brain then maybe this will help you know that you're not alone. 💕
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What’s wrong with me, why can’t I be
this girl that they all tell me they see.
I look at the pages trying so hard to focus,
the words move around. Did someone say hocus pocus?
 
My mind just won’t rest and I so need a break,
these lists in my head, don’t know how much I can take?
Frustration beyond words and suddenly the anger.
What’s wrong with this girl? Cant anyone tame her?
 
So anxious that I’ve bit all my nails to the quick.
You’d think with enough willpower, I could just quit.
But I can’t, I’ve tried every known remedy.
Every day I look down and think, "What’s wrong with me?"
 
I’ve written five books, but don’t ask me the reason
each one’s a chapter short of completion.
I swear I heard every word you just said,
but while you were talking ten things ran through my head.
 
So, I beat myself up and wonder why
I cant seem to move forward no matter how hard I try.
Am I just a quitter, underachiver, a slack?
How do I get this monkey off my back?
 
Now they tell me this enemy is living in me.
It’s not too uncommon and called ADD.
No excuse for my actions, I’m not looking for sympathy.
But maybe, just maybe, I am actually this smart girl that they see!
 
Now there are some good aspects of my personality glitch.
I can do ten things at once, easy as flipping a switch.
Find me a project that really sparks my interest
and I can move mountains in no more than an instant.
 
I’m creative, thoughtful, and I love to write.
Most of my words I compose in the middle of the night,
when darkness turns the volume of the world down to low
and my mind is given a moment to slow.

So I wont complain or make an excuse
because most of this "disorder" I've put to good use.
It's not all been bad, this thing ADD.
In fact I'm sure it's what most made me, Me!

Jennifer B Mulford  10/27/07